Thursday, May 31, 2007

Tuesday, May 29, 2007

Rectal Anarchy

Yes, it is a great name for a band. It's also a bizarre web site for a band to have.

But they do have a pretty humorous account of visiting a Christian "Hell House," which includes such priceless extracts as:

"In Hell you will inhale uncomfortable amounts of smoke machine fog while a guy dressed like Jason Voorhees* stands calmly next to you revving a chainless chainsaw."

"In this scenario [sins of pornography] a man is shown looking at a Penthouse until his wife gets mad and throws the magazine to the ground. I made a point to see if the guy was really looking at porn, but it turns out someone had just pasted the cover of a Penthouse to some electronics magazine. This disappointed me until I realized that someone working for the Hell House had to have done the handiwork; and you know there is no way that some dude spent 8 bucks on a Penthouse just to rip the cover off."

"Two guys dressed in concert security uniforms where beating the shit out of some guy in a bloody diaper. At first I thought I was watching the sin of performance art, but I soon realized that the guy in the diaper was probably Jesus, and the security guys were Romans (Security costumes are cheaper I suppose).

Friday, May 25, 2007

How do we protest in Fort Worth?

Let's pretend we are angry parents because our children won't be able to participate in graduation ceremonies. How would we protest?

Most likely, with signs that read: "Let Are Kids Walk"


"Brith Control Is A Pesticide" -- Fox News

Yesterday on Fox News’s Your World With Neil Cavuto, Leslee Unruh, president of the National Abstinence Clearinghouse, argued that this pill a “pesticide” that will make women “like men.” She called it an “attack on children and families,” ending the segment with shouts of, “I want more babies. More babies. We love babies.” Watch it:

I must say...

I-DIS-A-FUCKING-GREE!!!! Holy Shit!!! Who ARE these people?

Was your Principal ever arrested for participating in cockfights?

This one was.

Bit Torrent Sites

These look pretty cool...

16 Year Old Girl of the Day

Apparently, what God really hates is people telling Him what He hates.

Thursday, May 24, 2007

Mystery Sign Of The Day

The mysteries of life are endless.

Band of The Day

MAYHEM!!! (this is real) (as far as I know)

Formed around 1985 by Necrobutcher and guitarist Euronymous (born Oystein Aarseth), Mayhem was the first death metal band from Norway to make much of an impact in their homeland, which in the early '90s developed a burgeoning underground scene rife with violent, sometimes anti-Christian activity -- as evidenced by Mayhem's non-musical history. Drummer Hellhammer, who at one time worked in a mental hospital, is the only remaining member of the band's prime-period lineup. Lead vocalist Dead committed suicide in 1991 (two years after joining the band) by shooting himself in the head; Hellhammer made a necklace using some of his skull fragments, and Euronymous reportedly cooked and ate pieces of Dead's brain. Euronymous, in turn, was stabbed to death while in his underwear on August 10, 1993, by the band's bass player, Count Grishnackh (born Christian Vikernes). Grishnackh's alleged motive was jealousy over the fact that Euronymous had a more evil reputation; he inflicted 23 separate wounds, it was also rumored, so as to outdo rival band Emperor's drummer, Faust, who was convicted in the stabbing death of a homosexual acquaintance. When police arrested Grishnackh, they found over 150 kg of stolen dynamite in his house, complete with a plan to blow up a large church on a religious holiday. Grishnackh went on to pursue his electronic-influenced project Burzum while in prison; meanwhile, Euronymous' parents requested that his bass tracks be erased from Mayhem's 1994 album, De Mysteriis Dom Sathanas, (which featured session vocalist Attila Csihar). Still, thanks to growing worldwide interest in Norwegian death metal, Mayhem product has continued to appear on the shelves into the next century. Hellhammer also put together a new Mayhem lineup, which has toured sporadically. During one such tour in 2003, a concert-goer in Norway received a fractured skull as a sheep head flew from the stage while band member Blasphemer was cutting the head away from the torso.

Naked German Tourism Incident of The Day

So apparently it's not legal??? What gives?


You can all rest easy now that a 14 year old has disproved the "theory" of evolution. You can also read some slightly humorous commentary here.

Your Quarterly Apache Reminder

Here it is (again). APACHE!

Charlton Heston = My Personal God

He is like, omg, the coolest.

Wednesday, May 23, 2007

i can't even believe this exists

Evil Dead: The Musical
yeah. no... fuck yeah.

Cheezy video

I'm sure this video would have been awesome back in 1986, and yes the violinist is super hot (at least to me)...but COME ON!!!

The only two things this video lacked were:

1) Explosions

2) Her smashing her violin at the end.

Still, fun to watch. I think more classical musicians should have music videos. Imagine how that would change VH1, MTV and Total Request Live. "Next we have Young Chou playing Beethoven's Sonata No.8 Pathétique!" Hoards of teens screaming, jumping up and down and holding homemade signs claiming Beethoven is the best!)

Hmmm...maybe I'm on to something here.

Sunday, May 20, 2007

Why rock out with one guitar...

...when you can rock out with two?

This guy is pretty impressive!

Prelude No.3 in C#major
Sure he misses some notes, and the ending is a little unstable...but DAMN!

Super Mario. Freakin' A.

Goldbery Variation #1

Final Fantasy Chocobo Theme

Saturday, May 19, 2007

i know i know

some friends of mine put this together and it's actually a pretty amazing parody of the parodies of the dear sister thing, which is always alot of fun. enjoy!

speakin of family guy

it's too funny.

Tuesday, May 15, 2007

Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch. Ouch.



i'm sure everyone who reads this knows of the infamous mst3k and loves every second... so here's a song mike and the robots did for outlaw (of gor).

this needs to be shared

what a great line from john carpenter's they live.

Monday, May 14, 2007

School of Hard Knocks

This is nothing. Back in the day my 1st grade teacher convinced me that Miss Viola Swamp was real. Now THAT was scary.

Thursday, May 10, 2007

Pat Buchanan Rant of the Day

Immigration is to blame for the V Tech shootings.

Japanese Baby Hatch

A convenient way for parents of unwanted infants to safely get rid of them. It's on Drudge, so it must be true.

The World Is In Need of a New Superhero

How about "Martyr Mouse?" This Palestinian children's character "danced with an imaginary gun in his gloved hands and encouraged kids to drink milk, study hard -- and engage in violent acts of "resistance" against their Israeli neighbors and America."

Also from the article: "The episode brought to the media forefront by Palestinian Media Watch and Middle East Media Research Institute (MEMRI) -- privately funded pro-Israeli groups -- showed Farfour cheering for Islamic supremacy, saying, "We will win, Bush! We will win, Condoleezza (Rice)!""

By the way, it's nice that CNN had the presence of mind to specify which Condoleezza the Islamic groups were ranting about (it was Rice). There's far too many Condoleezzas in the global politic scene these days...

Monday, May 07, 2007

Eco Wacko of The Day

Our good friends at the Sea Shepherd society have published this editorial, calling for the world's population to be pushed under 1 billion, all cities to be 20,000 or less people and separated by stretches of wilderness, no food transportation away from the area of production, and a return to transportation via sailing ships and blimps.

But at least he's cool with telephones.

Sunday, May 06, 2007

CNN employs 3rd Graders to write articles

Okay, so I have no proof - but the subjectivity in this stellar bit of journalism speaks for itself.

Favorite excerpt:

"The couple liked to rob Mafia-run social clubs ... which, as just about everyone knows, is a really good way to get killed."

Thanks for the tip.

Saturday, May 05, 2007

... and they're 12!

check out this... suspiciously aware... band of 12 year old girls. emo lyrics like, "bush is such an idiot! (i know) he won't sign the kyoto treaty" and "please don't melt our glaciers... please don't kill us all."
brent, remind you of the cause at all... any resemblance??
it's propagandastic!
and their site!


i guess i never thought this video for the infectious 90's hit "Roll To Me" could be this weird...

Wednesday, May 02, 2007

Ardor 2.0 Released for Mac OS X and Linux!


Spears is Back

So Britney made her first performance in 3 years at a San Diego club last night. Apparently it was a healthy 15 minute performance at $125/ticket. But that's not so interesting to me. What I thought was funny was this quote:

"It looked like she lip-synched her way through the whole thing," said a disappointed Morgan Segall, 20, who flew in from San Francisco for the night.

More Bizarre Medical News

Incredible Hulk Syndrome

Truly Horrible

The model who smells like dead fish. Exactly what it sounds like. She suffers from a rare disorder called "TrimethylaMinuria." Peruse the article and the are my favorite quotes:

Camille described the odor as "a very heavy, intense, dark, deep smell."

"I didn't know why I was emitting such a strong odor. I mean, it can fill an entire room. Recently, it filled an auditorium," Camille said.

""I had an incident in middle school where a bunch of kids cornered me in the cafeteria and threw tuna fish sandwiches at me," Camille said."

"In fact, she remembers once calling the maintenance man to her New York City apartment to check her bathroom.

"It just smelled horribly. I thought maybe there was some kind of a problem with the sewer," Sandy said.

It wasn't the sewer, it was Sandy"

There's really no way to spin this

This is bad press.