Just a good story

The short of it: identical twin gay gymnast porn star drug dealers are arrested for a string of rooftop robberies. In handcuffs, one of them smashes through the back window of the cop car with his head, flings himself onto the ground face first, dives into a lake and swims across it like a freaking dolphin, yelling, "You'll never catch me". Yes, this really happened.

Apparently Golden Delicious is already out

Did anybody else know this? I feel like I just checked his website like a week ago. Anyway, thanks, imeem.

Classic Penis Products

I wonder why these never caught on?

Stop What You Are Doing RIGHT NOW

And listen to this contemporary Christian artist. Especially "America Repent." You won't be sorry.

Excerpt from an interview on a German Linux site

"Welche drei Menschen und welche drei Dinge würdest du auf eine einsame Insel mitnehmen (ohne Internetanschluss)?

Ohne Internetanschluss? Vergiss es, ich fahr nicht auf die! "

Productivity Enhancer Of The Day

Your favorite 8 bit Nintendo games now playable in your browser! I defy anyone to get any work done today.

LimerickDB

A fantastic new limerick site just started by Randall Munroe of xkcd using the codebase from bash.org. There you go, three of the best sites on the internet in one blog post.

Tom Cruise: Scientology Video

WTF?

Attention please

I love Achewood. No, I didn't see it coming, either. Sorry about the small print.

New Dr McNinja Book!

Yay! Who doesn't love the good doctor?

Recreational Marijuana Legalization

Might be on the ballot in CA next November, according to this highly unbiased source.

Who wants to live forever?

Just give Alex Chiu a ring.

Hey, it's a clever answer

Wouldn't you have borrowed it, too?

Yacht Rock

This series is amazing. Here's part one. (Thanks to Casaubon)

IMEEM account now required to read this blog

That, and a tolerance of Tom Waits.

Super Mario Galaxy for the SNES

Pretty sweet.

Bad Sex!

More from the Bulwer-Lytton treasure troves... except these are real!
BAM!
Current favorite:

She had on no knickers, and my heart went crash-bang-wallop and my eyes popped out. She hadn't shaved, and her fanny looked like a tropical fish or a bit of old carpet.

'So, you just gonna sit there?' Abi asked, and I laughed nervously. I was hardening up, but it was all a bit of a shock really. All I'd planned that night was listening to a selection of records and maybe some homework. I tried to go down on her, thinking back to the Razzle and how the boys did it in that. But my heart wasn't into it - her cunt smelt a bit like an armpit, and when I pulled the lips open I knew I'd have to shut them numerous times or else I'll die of Aids or I'd fall into it.

Jon finally releases Doubletwist!

Apparently, it is the holy grail of transcoding, and you never need to worry about DRM again?

Falconheart!

Iowa's premier motivational rock band.
PSA on juvenile diabetes...
Falconheart box set...
Dream Like an Eagle...
and a lil something extra about cats wearing hats...

And a Church Made of Legos!

Here!

Bill O'Reilly Says Fox News Isn't Credible

It was inadvertent, sure, but still amusing. Watch the mashup.

Fix Push

Get up to speed on the latest skating trend.

Bush Judicial Appointee Arrested for DUI While Crossdressing

He rear-ended a pickup in his Mercedes after leaving a gay bar in a little black dress and fishnet stockings.

Fantastic Science Fair Projects

My favs include: "Crystal Meth: Friend or Foe?"

This Onion Article's for you, DrkHorse

Enjoy.

Another great music video from Eric (of Tim and Eric)

I really like this tune and the music video is just so bizarre...it's great!

The Bird and the Bee "Polite Dance Song"

Sorry for the repost Drkhorse! I guess I haven't been keeping up with the blog as much as I should...

:) Very cool song though!

Lobbyists represent the real America

In keeping with SLM's proud tradition of posting items with no less than 6 months good aging, here's a stellar quote from Sen. Clinton. From August.

Sam Adams responds to hop shortage by sharing with microbrewers at cost

That is to say, no more than 2/3 market value, and probably much less, assuming you can find any worth brewing with at all. What a surprisingly genteel move from a corporation.

A Graphic Novel!

The Plot: The Secret Story of The Protocols of the Elders of Zion by Will Eisner with introduction by Umberto Eco.
Looks awesome. Balls awesome.

2 Girls 1 Cup

The best reaction ever (from the drunk history guys).

A Really Cool Video

by Eric from Tim and Eric!
Here!

If you don't have an Imeem account

Get one now. Then listen to this.

Get home early Saturday morning

Turn on the Wikipedia, find a new favorite page.

A Music Video

With weird people, weird lyrics, weird dancing...
yeah...

Gaaaaaaahhhhhhhh

Hey, it's a really creepy anti-productivity tool.

The Bible, Now Available in Manga Form

"The Sermon on the Mount did not make the book, though, because there was not enough action to it."

Dadaist Webcomics To Waste Your Life...

Dinosaur Comics + Dada = Dadasaurus Rex (updated every minute or so... just hit refresh)
Random Penguins + Dada = Dada Pokey (also incessantly updated... or something)
Sorry about the dadaist webcomics... I think they're ridiculous.
Also this is a very funny comic. Which is also not dadaist.

You-Ess-Bee

Crazy USB devices.
1. Barbie Storage
2. iPenis
3. Pole Dancer
4. Flash Bag
5. USB Bra
6. Pencil Sharpener
7. Slippers
8. Aquarium
9. Noodle Strainer

Conservapedia Stats

I know this is old news, but still amazing (and the order hasn't changed appreciably since the last time I saw it).

Most Viewed Pages on Conservapedia:

1. Homosexuality‎ [2,333,132]
2. Main Page‎ [2,245,758]
3. Teen Homosexuality‎ [409,209]
4. Arguments Against Homosexuality‎ [329,674]
5. Homosexual Agenda‎ [326,344]
6. Ex-homosexuals‎ [314,513]
7. Homosexuality and Choice‎ [309,486]
8. Homosexuality and Anal Cancer‎ [297,169]
9. Wikipedia‎ [296,993]
10. Homosexuality and Health‎ [291,026]

Notice any trend?

Fantastic fake ID

Uhhhh....about your picture...

GAHHHH HUGE SHARK

It is large.

Honest banner ads

Pretty clever, for a cracked.com article.

Circumcision

Some people don't like it.

And some people REALLY hate it.

Read this article. It's rather mundane until you get to the final quote at the end referring to the attorney who represented the mother in a case against a doctor:

According to Baer's Web site, he "contributes substantial amounts of time to ending the barbaric practice of routine infant male circumcision worldwide, insuring genital integrity for all citizens of the world."

Wow. Genital integrity for ALL citizens of the world.

GOP Swear Jar

Except, instead of putting in money for swearing, you put in money for humanizing your opponent.

Bitte, nicht so schnell!

On the road in Austria.

Best marketing choice ever

Name your tween bedroom suite after a famous novel about pedophilia.

Avril Lavigne Plays Hong Kong

Whoever wrote on her arm is brilliant.

Things you should know...

about French President Nicolas Sarkozy's wife.
...
She's a babe.
I couldn't pick one... so I picked them all...

Holy Hourly Comics, Batman!

Remember the Hourly Comics Day post a while back?
Well it totally happened.
Waste your time here!

A New Webcomic!

Hark! A Vagrant!
a blog-comic that's actually pretty rockin. and by rockin, i mean... well... i guess rockin is a pretty adequate term. i can at least learn to live with it.
Here's a list of specifically historical comics (which are awesome, by the way).

Mike Huckabee

Did you know his band is called "Capitol Offense"?