Wednesday, March 21, 2007
An Artist Named Blowfly
...And his classy titles (yes these are real titles):
1. BLOWFLY FOR PRESIDENT
(Title Code: 322269890) 2. CRACKER YAKKING #1
(Title Code: 332590577) 3. CRACKER YAKKING #2
(Title Code: 332590595) 4. CRACKER YAKKING #3
(Title Code: 332619251) 5. CRACKER YAKKING #4
(Title Code: 332619279) 6. DESTRUCTO COCK
(Title Code: 342087094) 7. DIGGIN BOOGERS
(Title Code: 342112716) 8. DRENCHED IN CUM
(Title Code: 342112734) 9. FUCKED WITH A DILDO
(Title Code: 361710454) 10. GIMME THAT OLD SIXTY-NINE
(Title Code: 371011557) 11. GOTTA KEEP HER PENETRATED
(Title Code: 371399032) 12. I BELIEVE MY DICK CAN FLY
(Title Code: 392497717) 13. I WANNA BE A SEX TOY
(Title Code: 392497753) 14. I WANNA BE FELATED
(Title Code: 392497771) 15. I WANNA FUCK YOUR DOG
(Title Code: 392497735) 16. NO MORE QUESTIONS
(Title Code: 441368870) 17. PIMPIN POLICY
(Title Code: 461971813) 18. PLAYING WITH MYSELF
(Title Code: 461971831) 19. PUNK COCK IS ROCK
(Title Code: 461971877) 20. PUNK ROCK PARTY
(Title Code: 461971859) 21. R KELLY IN CAMBODIA
(Title Code: 481460195) 22. R KELLY IN CAMBODIA NOT GUILTY SLIGHT RETURN
(Title Code: 481460177) 23. SCUMBAG FUCKER
(Title Code: 494259237) 24. SHOULD I FUCK THIS BIG FAT HO
(Title Code: 494259175) 25. STICK IT DOWN YOUR THROAT BITCH
(Title Code: 494259219) 26. SUCK AND FUCK TRAIN
(Title Code: 494259193) 27. THE BOOTY BUS
(Title Code: 503638139) 28. THE GREAT DEBATE
(Title Code: 503638157) 29. UGLY PEOPLE
(Title Code: 510487315) 30. UNCLES LOG CABIN
(Title Code: 510487299) 31. VD PARTY
(Title Code: 520548276) 32. WHEN DARKNESS FALLS
(Title Code: 532044510) 33. WILD IN THE SHEETS
(Title Code: 532044538) 34. YOU'VE GOT YOUR DICK ON BACKWARDS
(Title Code: 550793874) 35. YOUR PRECIOUS CUNT
(Title Code: 550793856)
Monday, March 19, 2007
40 Things That Only Happen In The Movies
(no, this is not original...easier to copy/paste than link)
1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.
2. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it’s aired.
4. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it’s the door to a burning building with a child inside.
6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.
9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.
10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
11. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).
12. Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene).
13. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
14. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard…
15. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out).
16. Cars never need fuel (unless they’re involved in a pursuit).
17. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.
18. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.
19. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one.
20. All single women have a cat.
21. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.
22. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade - at any time of the year.
24. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
25. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
26. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don’t mind at all what the girl does for a living.
27. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
28. It is not necessary to say “Hello” or “Goodbye” when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying “Hello? Hello?” repeatedly.
29. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (this is known as Stallone’s Law).
30. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.
31. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.
32. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.
33. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.
34. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
35. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
36. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
37. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers.
38. In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.
39. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren’t liked and would never get invited to parties).
40. Trucks use their horns at random (no hang on, that happens in real life too!).
1. It is always possible to find a parking spot directly outside or opposite the building you are visiting.
2. When paying for a taxi, don’t look at your wallet as you take out a note. Just grab one out at random and hand it over. It will always be the exact fare.
3. Television news bulletins usually contain a story that affects you personally at the precise moment it’s aired.
4. Creepy music (or satanic chanting) coming from a graveyard should always be closely investigated.
5. Any lock can be picked with a credit card or paperclip in seconds. UNLESS it’s the door to a burning building with a child inside.
6. If you decide to start dancing in the street, everyone you bump into will know all the steps.
7. All bombs are fitted with electronic timing devices with large red digital displays so you know exactly when they are going to explode.
8. Should you wish to pass yourself off as a German officer, it will not be necessary to learn to speak German. Simply speaking English with a German accent will do. Similarly, when they are alone, all German soldiers prefer to speak English to each other.
9. Once applied, lipstick will never rub off. Even while scuba diving.
10. The Eiffel Tower can be seen from any window of any building in Paris.
11. Any police officer about to retire from the force will more often than not die on their last day (especially if their family have planned a party). (Caveat: Detectives can only solve a case after they have been suspended from duty).
12. Getaway cars never start first go. But all cop cars do. (They will also slide to a dramatic stop in the midst of a crime scene).
13. If staying in a haunted house, women should investigate any strange noises wearing their most revealing underwear.
14. On a police stake-out, the action will only ever take place when food is being consumed and scalding hot coffees are perched precariously on the dashboard…
15. All grocery shopping involves the purchase of French loaves which will be placed in open brown paper bags (Caveat: when said bags break, only fruit will spill out).
16. Cars never need fuel (unless they’re involved in a pursuit).
17. If you are heavily outnumbered in a fight involving martial arts, your opponents will wait patiently to attack you one by one by dancing around you in a threatening manner until you have defeated their predecessor.
18. If a microphone is turned on it will immediately feedback.
19. Guns are like disposable razors. If you run out of bullets, just throw the gun away. you will always find another one.
20. All single women have a cat.
21. Cars will explode instantly when struck by a single bullet.
22. No matter how savagely a spaceship is attacked, its internal gravity system is never damaged.
23. If being chased through a city you can usually take cover in a passing St Patrick’s Day parade - at any time of the year.
24. The ventilation system of any building is the perfect hiding place. Nobody will ever think of looking for you in there and you can travel to any other part of the building undetected.
25. You will survive any battle in any war UNLESS you show someone a picture of your sweetheart back home.
26. Prostitutes always look like Julia Roberts or Jamie Lee Curtis. They have expensive clothes and nice apartments but no pimps. They are friendly with the shopkeepers in their neighbourhood who don’t mind at all what the girl does for a living.
27. A single match is usually sufficient to light up a room the size of a football stadium.
28. It is not necessary to say “Hello” or “Goodbye” when beginning a telephone conversation. A disconnected call can always be restored by frantically beating the cradle and saying “Hello? Hello?” repeatedly.
29. One man shooting at 20 men has a better chance of killing them all than 20 men firing at once (this is known as Stallone’s Law).
30. When you turn out the light to go to bed, everything in you room will still be visible, just slightly bluish.
31. Plain or even ugly girls can become movie star pretty simply by removing their glasses and rearranging their hair.
32. Rather than wasting bullets, megalomaniacs prefer to kill their enemies with complicated devices incorporating fuses, pulleys, deadly gases, lasers and man-eating sharks.
33. All beds have special L-shaped sheets that reach to armpit level on a woman but only up to the waist of the man lying beside her.
34. Anyone can land a 747 as long as there is someone in the control tower to talk you down.
35. During all police investigations it will be necessary to visit a strip club at least once.
36. You can always find a chainsaw when you need one.
37. Most musical instruments (especially wind instruments and accordions) can be played without moving your fingers.
38. In Middle America, all gas station attendants have red handkerchiefs hanging out of their back pockets.
39. All teen house parties have one of every stereotypical subculture present (even people who aren’t liked and would never get invited to parties).
40. Trucks use their horns at random (no hang on, that happens in real life too!).
Ian Murdock to join Sun Microsystems
Ian Murdock, founder of Debian, the extremely successful and arguably "free-est" and most democrat OS distribution, just announced that he has just been made the head of OS Strategy at Sun Microsystems, multiplatform hardware vendor and maintainers of the free OS Solaris, which is the fastest UNIX system and arguably most advanced OS around.
I care because Sun makes really, really solid hardware (check out this upcoming processor, holy crap), and also because Solaris and Debian are two of my favorite OSes, although Debian-based Ubuntu is my first choice for most desktop and laptop environments. Why should you care? You probably shouldn't, this post was basically just an excuse to mention my dear, rock-solid Debian outside of the context of Ubuntu, a chance that is less and less common.
I care because Sun makes really, really solid hardware (check out this upcoming processor, holy crap), and also because Solaris and Debian are two of my favorite OSes, although Debian-based Ubuntu is my first choice for most desktop and laptop environments. Why should you care? You probably shouldn't, this post was basically just an excuse to mention my dear, rock-solid Debian outside of the context of Ubuntu, a chance that is less and less common.
Friday, March 16, 2007
Elton John is Too Gay for Tobago
Seriously. He's been banned from the country so that he won't turn people gay. So many great jokes to make here...but do you notice instead how respectful I'm being?
Men and After-Sex Sleeping
Why is the urge to sleep after sex so intense in men? Some fine researchers at LiveScience.com did some research and provided us this fascinating article.
Thursday, March 15, 2007
One of the greatest horror video game series
For my money, Silent hill is one of the best horror series yet done on Video games. (I hate it when people make statements like "this is the best EVER"! You have no way of knowing what lies in the future. So I just use the word "yet") This series took a different approach than Resident Evil and other scary games on the market and has bred many spin offs.
Silent Hill is a plot driven video game and is not a button masher. It relies on atmosphere more than sending hordes of enemies at the player. The visuals and sounds are particularly well done. These games look like something that David Lynch would produce. I own SH 1 through 4 and have played through them all. While there are flaws in each one, these games provide am amazing experience. Recently I played through Silent Hill 1 again. The incredible thing is even with the outdated graphics, I could feel my heart beat increase and the hairs on my neck stand up while playing this game.
The dialogue and voice acting isn't the best, but the rest of the game makes up for it. If you are a fan of scary movies and haven't played through these games I strongly urge you to give these games a shot.
The basic plot of the game is about this town Silent Hill (duh) and deals with the supernatural and dual realities. I'm not really giving anything away by telling you that there are actually two towns. The creatures you face are all reflections of the main characters inner demons. This game makes you look down a dark hallway...one that you're sure holds danger. Then it makes you walk into the darkness. (I know I'm probably coming off as pretty corny, but if you play through these games, you'll understand just how creepy they are.)
To give you a feel for the games, I'm including links to various SH videos. The intros don't really make much sense without playing through the game...but give the games a chance. I think if you do, you'll be please.
Please note: These games are graphic and are not intended for young players. Viewer discretion is advised. (Always wanted to say that!) Oh...and play at night, with the lights all and the volume turned up loud. These games WILL get under your skin.
Silent Hill 1 Intro (Fan made edit)
Silent Hill 2 Intro
Silent Hill 3 Intro
Making of Silent Hill 3
Silent Hill 3 Intro (Fan made edit)
Silent Hill 4 Intro
Silent Hill is a plot driven video game and is not a button masher. It relies on atmosphere more than sending hordes of enemies at the player. The visuals and sounds are particularly well done. These games look like something that David Lynch would produce. I own SH 1 through 4 and have played through them all. While there are flaws in each one, these games provide am amazing experience. Recently I played through Silent Hill 1 again. The incredible thing is even with the outdated graphics, I could feel my heart beat increase and the hairs on my neck stand up while playing this game.
The dialogue and voice acting isn't the best, but the rest of the game makes up for it. If you are a fan of scary movies and haven't played through these games I strongly urge you to give these games a shot.
The basic plot of the game is about this town Silent Hill (duh) and deals with the supernatural and dual realities. I'm not really giving anything away by telling you that there are actually two towns. The creatures you face are all reflections of the main characters inner demons. This game makes you look down a dark hallway...one that you're sure holds danger. Then it makes you walk into the darkness. (I know I'm probably coming off as pretty corny, but if you play through these games, you'll understand just how creepy they are.)
To give you a feel for the games, I'm including links to various SH videos. The intros don't really make much sense without playing through the game...but give the games a chance. I think if you do, you'll be please.
Please note: These games are graphic and are not intended for young players. Viewer discretion is advised. (Always wanted to say that!) Oh...and play at night, with the lights all and the volume turned up loud. These games WILL get under your skin.
Silent Hill 1 Intro (Fan made edit)
Silent Hill 2 Intro
Silent Hill 3 Intro
Making of Silent Hill 3
Silent Hill 3 Intro (Fan made edit)
Silent Hill 4 Intro
Wednesday, March 14, 2007
Monday, March 12, 2007
I'm not going to name names here...
but a certain contributor, who I will only identify as "Pottbott," is definitely going to want to get a Wii when the new Harry Potter game comes out.
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)