Nickleback...sucks.

I know this is old, but Ben asked me to post it anyway. If the fact that I first heard this on NPR does not convince you to listen to All Things Considered ever day, I don't know what is wrong with you. Also, this is my first post since...early May? Wheee.

a little bit of interesting

global warming glitches at nasa? the headline detracts from credibility, but the sources are viable, so who knows?

breast implants = suicidal

what an interesting correlation

'tis ALMOST the season...

for an AFROMAN CHRISTMAS!!!!

Second Eastern European Music Video of The Day

The anti-pope! Like a lion kills an antelope!

Molvanîa

The amazing nation of Molvania! (motto: "The land untouched by modern dentistry!")

Eastern European Music Video of The Day

...ok, this is pretty obviously a joke...BUT STILL....

Disturbing Lamb of the Day

Amazing.

James Earl Jones

Most people don't know this, but the famous actor James Earl Jones actually tried to jump start a singing career when he was just 15 years old. Wanna hear it? Of course you do! Check it out here.


Enjoy,

Viper

The truth... finally.

a long time conspiracy, but this article seems to provide all the proof anyone should need.
The Death Star Attack: The Truth... Can You Handle It?
there should be no question in your mind after this article. the empire had to have been sabotaged.

Jan Terri, why not?

So after some more checking I've found that this girl is legit. Yes, the real deal. I've found these videos are best watched under the influence of some good alcohol.

So here you go:

Baby Blues

Ever wonder what the western bar dating scene was like back in 1982? Well, take a look at this. And what the hell is the guy doing at 2:29?!

Little Brother Video

She decides to changes things up a bit and go for some culture, with this take on a famous French folk tune. I think all of France most be very proud.

Halloween Fun!

Just in time for your next Halloween party, check out this funk! Nice video effects! My favorite part is the back up dancers-singers.

One of the worst videos I've ever seen!!!

What do you get when you combine:

* a terrible, over weight singer, who can't lip sync

* crappy music with even worse lyrics

* video footage that looks like it was stolen from a promo 1983 video about Chicago

Music Video

Watch it and laugh, I know I did!

(By the way, I've never heard of this woman, and did find an article online about her, so I'm assuming this is real. If it isn't, who really cares, its still funny.)

The Truth About The Rock Industry

Yes, you read right...this is Illuminati news! Apparently there's a whole host of people who think that Rock & Roll is a secret weapon of mind control. But if you read between the lines there's some pretty funny, pathetic stuff in here:

And who am I? I am Wes Penre, a former rock musician and composer. I am one of those who did not fit into the Agenda of the Elite. I am one of those who at that time didn't understand why my revealing lyrics and melodic songs were not appreciated by the big Record Companies. Now I know better. And no matter what some people might think, I am NOT a bitter, failed musician, who wants to "get even" with the Industry. I live a life I am very happy with, and even if I had the chance again, I would not sign up to be a professional musician. In a better world I would, but I will NOT sacrifice my body and soul to make big bucks for the Illuminati.

Sure...THAT's why the Big Bad Record Companies didn't like your songs...Why else?

Dentist of the Week

Here. Implanted false tusks in an assistant's mouth during a routing procedure as a practical joke. They were removed before she woke up. I think I speak for all of us when I say "HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!"

SATAN !!!!

Yeah, yeah, we've got to expose satanism, kids... yeah, and, um... let's start HERE.

"I give you this tid-bit to ponder on. If your child did not like to take medicine and you had a chocolate drink with the medicine, plus arsenic in it, would you give it to them? You would if you did not know it was in there and what arsenic was."

W..T..F...?!?!?!

Christians United For Israel

Holy Shit! This is an inside report on the Washington-Israel Summit. Right wing Christians supporting an expansion of Israel so Americans can "enjoy the second coming."

Tom Delay: "obviously it [the second coming] is what i live for. I hope it comes tomorrow."
Random Guy: "if you haven't seen the Left Behind series...well, it's scary"
Other Random Guy: "I can't wait for the rapture and the cleansing of the earth."

Let's Hope They Incorporate This Into SNICKERS Brand Candy

Allergy Free Peanuts

...for the sake of our very own Sad Panda.

Pope of the Week

Finally showing a little common sense.

Role Models of the Week

Astronauts flying drunk! Woo-Hoo!

Texas. Why?

This tasty Texan was just appointed as the head of the TX state board of education. In addition to being a creationist ("Dr. McLeroy was one of four board members who voted against proposed high school biology textbooks because he felt their coverage of evolution was “too dogmatic” and did not include possible flaws in Charles Darwin’s theory of how life on Earth evolved from lower forms." according to Dallas Morning News) he also writes an...ummm...interesting...memo entitled "The Gift of Medieval Christendom To The Modern World" in which he asserts "Freedom is unique to the areas of the world that have been touched by Christianity."

Read his site. Your blood will boil.

Another great quote from the memo:

"I argue that the development of medieval political structures with their limiting of the power of the governments and the resulting freedom for commerce, and the freeing or releasing of human energy coincides with the assimilation of the ideas of the dignity of the human being-"created in the image of God". This was a gift of the spread of Christianity in Europe or as many call it "Christendom".

Most world history books identify all the characteristics used in my argument but, in my opinion, fail to give them the significance they deserve. These books do not really give an explanation of the coincidence of Christianity and the freedom that follows it around."

Cheney Pic of The Day

Is that Cheney or Gob?

"You look like you're hunting dragons. In the Future."

I Wrote This Song in '94

From Dave Chappelle's lost episodes...a lost Tupac song....written "way before blackberry pagers."

DJ: Tupac, Rest in Peace
Tupac (on record): OK, I will!

UFOs!

It's true! I always knew it! Mass sightings in Stratford Upon Avon. And those pathetic excuses by the MOD:

"Unless there is evidence of a potential threat to the United Kingdom from an external military source, and to date no UFO report has revealed such evidence, we do not attempt to identify the precise nature of each sighting reported to us.

"We believe that rational explanations such as aircraft lights or natural phenomena could be found for them if resources were diverted for this purpose but its not the function of the MoD to provide this kind of aerial identification service."

Pathetic.

Best Colber Intro Ever

HP! HP! HP! HP! HP!

Dear Smokers (from Joe Jackson)

Here's an important message from our good friend Joe Jackson (whole post here)

======

Dear Smokers,

You are the scum of the earth. Bad enough that you are intent on committing suicide, but with your noxious fumes you are committing nothing less than murder too.

The preceding statement should sound pretty familiar by now. If you believe it, don't bother to read any further. But if you're skeptical, consider this: you're being made into scapegoats by people who are nowhere near as honest and noble as is commonly assumed. In fact a lot of them are downright nasty, and it's about time you started standing up to them.

From July 1st, smoking is banned in every pub, restaurant and club in England - including private clubs, but then again a pub is private property too. I could bemoan the loss of property rights; I could also have a good rant about the loss of tolerance and free choice. But the real issue is that the only possible justification for this ban is blatantly, and provably, so phoney that it stinks to high heaven. I refer, of course, to the grotesquely-hyped but elusive phantom of 'secondhand smoke'.

Bikini Clad Women Employed By Landscapers

Brilliant idea no. 2,341

How would you punish a disorderly student?

I can think of many creative ways...but I don't think it would ever occur to me to have them do: POND SQUATS.

Polar Bear Cub!

Everybody smile!

Fast Food Items of The Day

McDonald's NEW 42oz drink!
Hardee's Thickburger

mmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm

The Philosophy of Alan Watts

... courtesy of Trey Parker and Matt Stone. Thoughtful clip.

I believe another blogger said it best

a paragraph from kung fu monkey:

Oh, how they mocked. But my momentary cowardice still allowed me to retain a shred of dignity, and so was worth indulging. Because if I'd gotten on that ride, my friends would have actually heard me scream. Like a little girl. Like a little girl who just woke up because somebody licked her foot. Like a little girl who just woke up because somebody licked her foot, and then when she turns on the light there's an evil clown sitting in the middle of her bedroom, eating her pony.

There's no comebacks from the clown-pony scream.

News You Can Use

This is the headline, verbatim:
Tiny Brain No Problem for Tax Official
The utter truth in this article is unbearable.

Grammar RULES!

from wall street journal online:

Knowing Their Place
The final Harry Potter book hits the shelves tonight, but USA Today reports that some spoilsports have gotten their hands on advance copies and are spreading the word:

"I am a bored, sadistic loser who doesn't play sports, have a job or have a girlfriend, so I posted Harry Potter spoilers," a 17-year-old Pittsburgh high schooler boasted in an interview with USA TODAY. "It was fun for myself at the expense of others." USA TODAY contacted the teenager after it saw his spoiler post on Facebook.

But not everyone is a bored, sadistic loser who doesn't play sports, have a job or have a girlfriend:

Major news outlets continued to avoid reporting spoilers available on the Web. "It's not exactly national security we're talking about," says NBC News vice president Phil Griffin, who oversees MSNBC. "I don't think it's our place to spoil the enjoyment."

What's troubling here, of course, is the implication that it is the place of journalists to undermine national security.

Oh dear, there goes all of my free time...

Check out this virtual NES. Pretty cool!

Office productivity down: 67%

Employee Morale up: 78%

:)

The Fattening Rooms of Africa

Absolutely fascinating. In some African cultures, having extra weight is a status symbol, and people pay to go to special "fattening rooms" where you can eat, sleep, and gain weight. It is particularly popular to do before weddings...

Some Of The Coolest Structures In The Modern World

And they're Japanese!

And they're SEWERS!

Republican Gazette

This article is reporting on Hillary planning an event at a gay B&B, and then changing it to a traditional, non-gay B&B. All meant, I suppose, to simultaneously call Hillary's balls into question as well as further tagging Hillary as a gay supporter. So with all of this, I find it just a tad ironic that the Google sponsored ads pick up on "gay friendly B&B" and return ads just for that. So it seems, Republican Gazette might just might be more of a gay supporter than it knew!

The Perfect Chair For A Rainy Day

...or anytime for PotBott. The Biblio Chair!

Cockerham

The town. Revel in the history.

"Cockerham is a small village and civil parish within the City of Lancaster district of Lancashire, England. It is six miles (9.6 km) south of Lancaster and fifteen miles (24 km) north-northwest of Preston. Located along the estuary of the River Lune, it has a total resident population of 558.^[1]

Cockerham has lain within the historic county bounadaries of Lancashire since the middleages, having previously formed a township and parish within the hundred of Lonsdale and district of Lancaster.^[2]"

Evangelical Preachers...

...with "100 Reasons Evolution is Stupid." What a dick!

Very Kevin Smith

Walmart to sell Jesus action figures! The "Buddy Christ" is next...

and while we're on condoms

why not bring the kids into this?

the girl that will wear this...

is screwed up in the head... or kinky to the max. either way, i definitely want to meet her.
The Best Bikini Ever Crafted By Human Hands.

When I Look For Condoms...

...I look for Japanese condoms. This article features 10 of the best, including Fe+Male condoms, and "Skins Mobile."

Best First Sentence Ever In A News Article

" BATH — Except for a tragic accident, the 35th annual Bath Heritage Days parade went off without a hitch."

Here.

2008 Election

There is really only one candidate worth voting for.

Patton Oswalt (old women giving birth and KFC)

Good bit from Conan

PSA

just so everyone in the world knows... they might be giants new album, "The Else," is now available on emusic.
hell yes.

If you can't beat 'em...

... drop them. Nice, Sprint. Nice.

Holst + JASRAC =

Hilarity. This is the English version of a song protesting JASRAC.

Sierra Club

A very good article about WWII conservationism and a wartime change in lifestyle. I printed 50 color copies of it in size 26 font. I'm going to burn them on randomly selected desks today to show my support.

That reminds me, I left the a/c on 65 this morning. At least my room will be nice and cool when I get home to eat my nightly sirloin steaks (2)!!

It looks like WHAT??? No, no, no..

...you've got it all wrong! It's supposed to be a FLOWER!

The Role of Indie Retail in the Music Industry

Very good post by Glen Coolfer (which itself is a commentary on a Guardian article) regarding how indie retailers are not only weathering the changing music industry landscape, but actually thriving.

more qvc magic

when a slightly charismatic salesman takes the super late night circuit selling absolute crap to anyone who happens to be watching at 3 in the morning, the results are whacky!
The Lava Lamp
The "Katsack"

best youtube series ever!

so, it never occurred to me that on home shopping channels (ie. qvc and hsn), they sometimes sell things that can be dangerous... and therefore, the salesmen are likely to commit some folly which will end in their hilarious injury. that is, it never occurred to me... until now!
The Ladder
The Katana

salad days

according to wikipedia, salad days is the "longest running musical in british history..."

Jane (originally played by Eleanor Drew) and Timothy Dawes (originally played by John Warner), meet up in a park to plan their lives soon after their graduation. Deciding that Timothy must take the first job he's offered, a passing tramp offers them £7 a week to look after his mobile piano. Upon accepting, they discover that when the piano plays it delivers all within earshot an irresistible desire to dance! After attempts to ban the music by the Ministry of Pleasure and Pastimes, the piano vanishes, and Timothy enlists his Uncle Zed to take them in his flying saucer to retrieve it.

monty python made fun of it and sam peckinpah in one of my favorite skits.

Some Good Creationist Logic

Apparently the fact that a caterpillar turns into a butterfly is proof that God created all the animals without using any kind of evolutionary processes.

...and there were dinosaurs on the ark. And...apparently the poles were sub-tropical before the Flood.

20 Net Acronyms EVERY Parent Should Know

I don't even know where to start with this.

It all seems like a pretty tame tip for the 'rents until:

#12: IWSN (I Want Sex Now)

Woah there, kids. And how about:

#14: GYPO (Get Your Pants Off)

A little demanding, aren't we?

And I do love me some acronyms (LMSA), but now it's just getting gratuitous:

#20. NALOPKT (Not A Lot of People Know That)

TTYL Sublunar Minds.

flight of the conchords

if you haven't seen this show yet, what the hell is wrong with you?

Lesson: Cats Transport Cheaply

And you don't need to feed them for weeks at a time. I think that's pretty much the main point of this article.

Key quote: ""It's always a good day when the cat's alive," said Escamilla."

This is Not Disconcerting

Not at all.

I guess we'll just let Canada handle it.

Transformers Clips

Good Stuff!! From the (original) movie...Optimus Prime v Megatron
Death of OP
And back to life

Oliver Stone Comeback

Pretty Good

Wal Mart Theft

Genius! I gotta try this!

Lesbian Blooper

Everyone loves porno bloopers!

Secret Laser Suit in Super Mario World

A secret laser suit hidden in Super Mario World. The word is that this is a rom hack, as it seems strange not to have come to light before 2007. BUT...it's still pretty cool. Dig that music!

This seems completely unreasonable...

Why would a Logan, UT, bus authority ban a 76 year old woman simply because she was harassing mothers of large, unruly, families to get on the pill? Seems like solid advice to me. We need more bold souls like her.

Infamous Airline Complaint

Many of you may have already seen this by now. It's a jpg of an actual (or so they say) airline complaint letter.

yet ANOTHER golden snippet...

Construction worker on a smoke break to his buddy:

"She made my ex-wife look like Mary Poppins."

Now THAT's a spoonful of sugar.

Killer Crocs Hunting Poachers!

Go India!

Invention of the Year

Sweet Cocaine.

Bigfoot

He's real. I know it.

golden snippet

So as we were stumbling out of the Four-Faced Liar last night, I catch this golden snippet from a young man seated on the ground, talking on his cell phone:

"Whad'ya think, I turned Puerto Rican overnight?!?!"

Nice.

the onion proves yet again...

how incredibly genius it can be!
the inanity of this opinion column is likened to that of an episode of seinfeld. so utterly satisfying.

Man gets sick benefits for heavy metal addiction

No kidding. Sweeden.

"Because heavy metal dominates so many aspects of his life, the Employment Service has agreed to pay part of Tullgren's salary. His new boss meanwhile has given him a special dispensation to play loud music at work."

Now MY soul mate has found me!!

What a coincidence!! Now, she didn't get my name right...but names don't really matter in true love. And she doesn't care about my bad eyesight! Where am I? Right here!!

Hi, Thorsten

Where are you, ready to understand the feelings, which overflow me, which are not afraid neither of strength of arms, nor of the bad eyesight? Where are you?

I am alive today, I am ready to feel, I am ready to sing of happiness. I am ready to cry to the skies about my happiness, about the ability, the wish to love and to be loved, I want to cry to the skies: Where are you, my love?!...

I can’t wait till the sky will give me my angel who will point me the heart which loves me more than anything else in this world! And will tell me where you are! I am here [URL] waiting only for You.

Kiss-kiss

Stell

Best movie ever

Oh, it's coming. Cowboys vs Aliens

What is is about New Zeeland?

Key baby names, rejected by NZ government: "4Real," "Satan," "Adolf Hitler"

Naked people on roofs

This is actually pretty sad. I just like the quote "Clothing was discovered on the roof, leading authorities to suspect the man and woman, in their early 20s, may have been having sex."

What an astute observation...

The age old question

What would YOU do with seal penises?

good news, fellow Sublunarians...

I happened to stumble upon my soul mate while browsing junk email this morning. Needless to say, you'll all be invited to our inevitable wedding:

Subject: dear, good mood to u

Privet, my gentleman:

While you are thinking of me and about this letter I want you to ask
yourself: how often were you surprised to understand that you are so
willing to get a chance to meet me at least for a while? Maybe you are
trying to imagine our meeting in person, how wonderful we are spending the
time, how you just start to be happy because we are together?
And if you are indeed thinking of all this, wouldn’t it be logical to start
a communication and then meet in person in real life? To spend time
acquainting and realize that we are meant to be together?
Are you as brave as I am to write me your answer and to make the only step
to become happy?
You can send your best wishes to [undisclosed link, however I will tell you that the word "fantasy" was included in the URL]
and I will be happy to answer.


Waiting for your reply

St. Maris

LOTS of great nations still haven't adopted the metric system.

ZING!

Store of The Day

I hope this place is still in business when I have kids.

Headline of The Day

Who knew dead people could do so many things?

I want to party with this guy!

Two DUIs in the same day from the same cop! Note this quote:

After showing up drunk for his arraignment,"He was later released to a sober friend, but jumped from the friend's car and returned to downtown Missoula, where he continued drinking, court records said."

Crime in Louisanna

Is out of control.

telemarketers BEWARE

... Tom Mabe is fighting for the common man.

for all you Michael Cera / A.D. fans out there

The dude just might be a genius.

and speaking of food...

If you told me that the pic of the KFC Famous Bowl doesn't make you want to hurl, you are a LIAR.

a great sitcom

committed is this short-lived nbc sitcom, 13 episodes in all, and many were played twice in a week. very short series, but really really funny! i mean, a dying clown lives in the woman's closet because he was in the leasing agreement... come on! that's funny!

food bashing...

... can get downright vicious. A delicious excerpt: "If that appetizer knows what's good for it, it'll get on its knees and pray for mercy from sweet baby Jesus, because I went John Wayne Gacy on that shit."

Funtown Auto

The commercial

Fantastic Name of The Day

Here.

What $27 Million can buy

it can buy a creationist museum. Take a tour!

Spam of the day

this is one of the funnies spams I've ever recieved....

-----Original Message-----
From: Eat smaller [mailto:shaysville@kastleconsulting.com]
Sent: Tuesday, June 05, 2007 8:04 AM
To: Casaubon
Subject: RE:

Penis Enlarge Patch will give you a double serving of meat in the pants.

Blood on The Cloak

Stay tuned, Harry Potter fans - DATE RAPE!!!

Your Daily Mitch Hedberg

5 good minutes.

Probably the best educational filmstrip from the 70s

"Caught in the act."
I would love to MST3K this...but I'm not sure it could get any funnier. Plus the soundtrack ROCKS!

Ground Zero

how does al qaeda feel about how long it's taking to build a ground zero memorial?

nice tie

GOLDFRAAAAAAAAAAAAAAP!!!!