Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Bad Sex!

More from the Bulwer-Lytton treasure troves... except these are real!
Current favorite:

She had on no knickers, and my heart went crash-bang-wallop and my eyes popped out. She hadn't shaved, and her fanny looked like a tropical fish or a bit of old carpet.

'So, you just gonna sit there?' Abi asked, and I laughed nervously. I was hardening up, but it was all a bit of a shock really. All I'd planned that night was listening to a selection of records and maybe some homework. I tried to go down on her, thinking back to the Razzle and how the boys did it in that. But my heart wasn't into it - her cunt smelt a bit like an armpit, and when I pulled the lips open I knew I'd have to shut them numerous times or else I'll die of Aids or I'd fall into it.

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